Are we all Narcissistic?

Good morning readers.

I have been thinking a lot about our society, and where we are going wrong, of late. I can’t say if all of the world is like this, but certainly in some western countries it appears to be this way.

I recently listened to a podcast which I think was on TED (http://www.ted.com/), but can’t remember. It might have been on ABC Radio national (http://www.abc.net.au/radio/stations/RN/live). Whatever the case, it was a topic of Narcissism which I found quite illuminating.

Increasingly we seem to have a very narrow, self centred focus; we always put ourselves first before considering the impact of our actions on others.

In Australia at present, we have a government that is targeting welfare spending. They have particularly taken aim at the unemployed, youth, those on disabilities and single parents. While Australia has one of the lowest levels of welfare in the OECD, Australia’s elite want to cut that even further.

Increasingly in Australia, we have Governments, and the media, dividing the national; labelling unemployed or those on some sort of welfare assistance as bludgers. Anyone who is less fortunate than themselves are persecuted and targeted.

Why is this occurring?

In my opinion it all comes down to self focus, ignorance of others, and a desire to think that we are better than those around us. This “Narcissism” is the cause of much of our troubles in the west. We feel that we “deserve” more because we are better than those around us.

Do we deserve more than our neighbour, our friend, our family – or the guy down the street?

I would say a resounding NO? We have just become too self important.

Over the years I have had quite a few conversations around these lines. I have had arguments with people who felt that someone who answers a telephone in a company isn’t as valuable or important as someone who manages a department.

My statement has been that everyone is valuable in a company. If there is no-one to answer phone calls, sort the mail or greet visitors, then the company can’t function. Similarly, someone who cleans the toilet is also valuable as otherwise we would all get sick.

I think the above example is a common type of feeling in the community, and seems to indicate how we justify our feelings of superiority – it helps to justify our greed to ourselves. Unfortunately this narcissistic view of the world is doing nothing to support or strengthen our society.

A personal example.

I was recently invited to attend a wedding – this person is fairly important to me. We had been told about the wedding quite a few months ago – and we were very excited for them.Having organised time off work, started to book accommodation (it was in another state), we were then told (through someone else – not even personally) that our child couldn’t attend – which ultimately meant that we couldn’t attend!

Because we had already organised leave from work, spent money organising accommodation, planning everything, we were somewhat annoyed; particularly because they knew that our child couldn’t attend a long time ago, but didn’t tell us.

Having communicated how we felt with this person via email, all I got in response was a sob story about how difficult it was for them working demanding jobs, long hours, the cost travelling to that location and the small size of the venue. I indicated that it would have been nice to have been told directly, rather than through another person, and that it appeared that he was avoiding approaching me about it – perhaps for fear of criticism – which ultimately occurred.

So why am I raising this as an example of Narcissism?

This person knew a long time ago that we couldn’t bring our child, he knew long before he sent out the invitations, he knew this during our communications – but didn’t once indicate this to us until after we had organised leave off work, started planning and booking accommodation – and RSVP’d. Worse still, we didn’t even get told directly, but a message passed through someone else. How personal and thoughtful.

More importantly, not once did I get an apology, or an acknowledgement of their error – just excuses.

Hmmm.

This is where we get to another aspect of narcissism. People who think they are more important, more valuable, are more self focused will rarely take responsibility for their actions or mistakes, but blame others, or blame circumstances – because it is all about them and their issues, never any consideration for the impact of their actions on others. Simply because their issues, their desires, their wants, are more important than anyone elses.

This is where our focus on ourselves – at any cost – becomes narcissistic, because we don’t care about anyone else but achieving our own desires and wishes. We are more important and deserving than other people.

OK, so in this example it is his wedding, he gets to choose who comes, where he goes, how big it is, how much food etc.

So why does it matter?

In the big scheme of things it doesn’t, but it demonstrates how we tend to focus on ourselves, our desires, and our wishes, with complete disregard to everyone else, because we feel more important; our needs are more important, and we feel we “deserve” it. It is this feeling that we deserve something, but someone else doesn’t that is a another component of narcissism.

My point is – EVERYONE is important, and everyone of us is deserving!

So perhaps I am being narcissistic because I feel that I deserve a truthful discussion, and responsibility. Perhaps I expect too much!

So why is our world becoming more war torn, our neighbours becoming more antagonistic, our streets more violent? What is the cause?

Ourselves and our self focus – our feeling of superiority, our egos –

OUR “narcissism”.

We are all important, and valuable. We are all deserving, and it is about time we started to recognise that.

Will this ever happen?

Well that depends on our ability to look inside ourselves and see our ego for what it is. Our creation to justify how we feel and act!

At least that is what my ego says 😉

Bye for now!
Greg

Advertisements

About Blog of Greg

I consider myself a thinker and I like to discuss everything in life with those around me. Mostly I am serious, sometimes I am funny, and occasionally I am rude. I like to wear my heart on my sleeve and say what I feel, or think! It is important to me to be honest about how I feel and why! I detest pretense, big egos and self importance. I believe that I am no more important than you, and similarly that you are no more important than me! [apparently I should reflect on this more often] This blog is a way of engaging people in different aspects of life; its goal is to present a different view of life and contribute to a broadening of our awareness. While this blog is essentially my opinion, I also understand that there are other opinions out there. Though I encourage discussion, I may “delete” comments that I find are unhelpful, argumentative, or offensive towards myself or another person. Often I write about politics – apparently that is an interest of mine – but I also like to write about other more personal things that affect us in our day to day lives. Along with this blog, I also write to politicians and newspapers; I often present a commentary on my blog about following comments or decisions. That way everyone understands what they have said – and sometimes of course how big a buffoon they are:) Please feel free to comment on my posts, as I would like to hear what you have to say. After all…. Your opinion is just as valid as mine!
This entry was posted in Family/children, Social/Community and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Are we all Narcissistic?

  1. I somehow posted that last comment before finishing it. 🙂 I wanted to add that you might like to visit anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com. Ursula writes very knowledgeably and lyrically about narcissism – both her parents are narcissists. In fact, I would say that she probably does one of the best blogs about narcissism on the web.

    Like

  2. Wow – great interview with Anne Mann – I am going to find the book. We are inundated with narcissism to such a great degree, and narcissists are basically incapable of recovery. It leaves our society in a very precarious position.

    Like

  3. Thanks for the podcast suggestion. 🙂 I am definitely an anti-narcissist – I was married to one for a short time and it was enough for a lifetime. Even on a small scale, they can do so much damage, so you are quite right to point out the utter catastrophe they can cause in greater numbers and at higher levels. Have you seen “House of Cards”? Very instructive.

    Like

    • Blog of Greg says:

      Hi again Lynette,

      We seem to be plummeting into a state of chaos worldwide – again. Predominantly this is due to our narcissism – both individual narcissism and collective narcissism. You know this, I know this – most people are oblivious because they are caught up in their own self interest, their own little world.

      I am very fearful for our children who are going to bear the brunt of this dreadful situation. It is scary – and not too many people care enough to do anything about it. Again they are too self absorbed!

      I live in Sydney – we now have the second most expensive housing market in the world. Due to current/previous generations self interest, our children in Sydney won’t be able to live as good a life as their parents – why?

      Our government wants to triple the cost of university fees. Who benefits? those with financial interest in that proposal – not our children. and on and on it goes.

      But of course you are aware of this, but not too many people are – they are too self absorbed, or aspire to that level of greed; those possessions which make them happy – superficially.

      I wrote to a Government MP a while ago about this, his answer was to suggest 99 year mortgages, or 99 year leases. What! What sort of idiocy is this? Who benefits? Certainly not our children! It shows how ignorant of real life those in power are – or more pointedly, how focussed they are on themselves and their own desires.

      This is why we are in such a dreadful state worldwide – sadly I don’t think this will change any time soon. There is a high likelihood for very serious consequences unless we make some important changes in the way we run the world. Global warming for instance has been caused by narcissism.

      Our current Government, who have just disposed of most legislation surrounding addressing Global Warming, demonstrates the lengths we go to in order to satiate our greed – even to the extent that we will destroy our environment in order to fulfil our desires – pathetic really.

      We are likely the only animal on the planet, that will destroy its home in order to make itself feel good with possessions. Some have said – poo in its own nest! What is even more unbelievable is that we don’t even understand it, and don’t care, because our self interest is more important. Bizarre. It shows how small we really are, and how dumb.

      Currently searching for House of Cards.

      Like

  4. Good post. Narcissism is becoming more and more a societal problem.

    Like

    • Blog of Greg says:

      I was listening to a podcast recently on the ABC Radio National programme in Australia. It was on the Narcissism. It really brought to light the issues that we are now confronted with; what author Anne Manne calls the “cult of rampant individualism”.

      It also discussed the Anders Behring Breivik case and his narcissism. Apparently after he had killed all of those people, he held his finger up to the police and asked for a band-aid because he had a cut on his finger! He thought he was more important than the dead or injured. While an extreme case, it is an example of how far our self interest, self focus, and feelings of superiority can lead.

      The podcast can be found at:
      http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/bestoffestivals/07-01-2015/5963892

      If we look at a few of the current crises in the world we will see the same picture.

      The Middle East crisis – IS feels superior; they want; they desire; they feel they deserve – there is a bit more to it, but that could be seen as the basis behind their war.

      The Israel/Palestine issue is the same (along with being filled with hatred on both sides which doesn’t help – but hatred is also a symptom of narcissism)

      The current Ukraine/Russia situation is exactly the same. Perhaps the need for Russia to again dominate the region because they feel they are, or need to be superior.

      And on and on it goes.

      Our Australian Government, as mentioned in my post, is trying to demonise some sections of the community, appealing to the narcissism of those more fortunate. The outcome is that by dividing the nation, appealing to the populace’s narcissism, they can convince the population that their Austerity measures are fitting the situation, because those that feel they deserve more, will vote for those changes.

      It is a despicable tendency, immoral, and deceitful; ultimately it is harmful to all of the populace. Unfortunately our Government’s are funded by people who are filled with self interest who have their own agenda. Hence the people they help to put in power have the same interest – and so they propagate this immoral and deceitful agenda – regardless of the consequences – to both the nation and the populace in general.

      The recent financial collapses were due to narcissism. The greed of those who were lending, caused by their self interest, ultimately caused the world’s financial system to collapse. It will continue to happen, until we grow up, and think beyond ourselves, and our own greed and self interest.

      Such is narcissism. How much harm will ultimately occur is yet to be seen.

      Nice to hear from a fellow anti-narcissist! 🙂

      Like

Your thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s